Saturday, January 20, 2007
somehow i wish it would all end. end the pain. so intense im numb. or is it? do i feel it at all? feel distached from my body, like i dont exist. and listening to mcr songs now dont help. the bit of relieve i got from my dad's understanding has worn off. and i cant feel the cuts i made earlier on. the blood is till there, i dont want to wash it off. i dont want the scars to fade, because i want it to remind me of all the pain. damn, and now im bringing the misery onto others. dont cut jocelyn, please. fuck it.
no one is there, no one seem to understand. who can i talk to now, who will be willing to be with a emo freak. i dont want to infect my friends with my sadistic-ness. i need to get away, runaway. i cant stand school, i cant stand my friends, i cant stand facing anyone. please go away and let me be alone. fuck it.
im sinking deeper and deeper. there's no saving me now, if im worth saving in the first place. lets just pretend i've never exist, there's no reason for my existance, just another burden of pain. thats all i have to say.
freaking guy with his freaking nick: U are so beautiful...-i love her...Will she love me too? oh christ, is he a pervert? fuck that guy, fuck everyone.
5:42 PM
